Subject: FW: Laugh Of The Day - Wed, Aug 28 1996
Date: Mon, 2 Sep 1996 16:28:56 -0400

PROGRAMERS CREATION

> THE CREATION:
>
> In the beginning there was the computer.  And God said
>
> %>Let there be light!
>
> #Enter user id.
>
> %>God
>
> #Enter password.
>
> %>Omniscient
>
> #Password incorrect.  Try again.
>
> %>Omnipotent
>
> #Password incorrect.  Try again.
>
> %>Technocrat
>
> #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
>
> %>Let there be light!
>
> #Unrecognizable command.  Try again.
>
> %>Create light
>
> #Done
>
> %>Run heaven and earth
>
> #And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
>
> #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
>
> #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
>
> %>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
>
> #Unrecognizable command.  Try again.
>
> %>Create firmament
>
> #Done.
>
> %>Run firmament
>
> #And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
>
> #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
>
> #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
>
> %>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let
>
> the dry land appear and
>
> #Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
>
> %>Create dry_land
>
> #Done.
>
> %>Run firmament
>
> #And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
>
> #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
>
> #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
>
> %>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
>
> #Unspecified type. Try again.
>
> %>Create sun_moon_stars
>
> #Done
>
> %>Run sun_moon_stars
>
> #And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
>
> #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
>
> #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
>
> %>Create fish
>
> #Done
>
> %>Create fowl
>
> #Done
>
> %>Run fish, fowl
>
> #And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
>  creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged =
> fowl
> after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
>
> #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
>
> #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
>
> %>Create cattle
>
> #Done
>
> %>Create creepy_things
>
> #Done
>
> %>Now let us make man in our image
>
> #Unspecified type. Try again.
>
> %>Create man
>
> #Done
>
> %>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have
> dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over
> every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
>
> #Too many command operands. Try again.
>
> %>Run multiplication
>
> #Execution terminated. 6 errors.
>
> %>Insert breath
>
> #Done
>
> %>Run multiplication
>
> #Execution terminated. 5 errors.
>
> %>Move man to Garden of Eden
>
> #File Garden of Eden does not exist.
>
> %>Create Garden.edn
>
> #Done
>
> %>Move man to Garden.edn
>
> #Done
>
> %>Run multiplication
>
> #Execution terminated. 4 errors.
>
> %>Copy woman from man
>
> #Done
>
> %>Run multiplication
>
> #Execution terminated. 2 errors.
>
> %>Create desire
>
> #Done
>
> %>Run multiplication
>
> #And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
>
> #Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
>
> %>Create freewill
>
> #Done
>
> %>Run freewill
>
> #And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
>
> #Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
>
> %>Undo desire
>
> #Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
>
> %>Destroy freewill
>
> #Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
>
> #Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
>
> %>Help
>
> #Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
>
> #Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
>
> #Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
>
> %>Create tree_of_knowledge
>
> #And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
>
> #Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
>
> %>Create good, evil
>
> #Done
>
> %>Activate evil
>
> #And God saw he had created shame.
>
> #Warning system error in sector E95.  Man and woman not in Garden.edn. 1
>
> errors.
>
> %>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
>
> #Search failed.
>
> %>Delete shame
>
> #Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
>
> %>Destroy freewill
>
> #Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
>
> #Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
>
> %>Stop
>
> #Unrecognizable command. Try again
>
> %>Break
>
> %>Break
>
> %>Break
>
> #ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
> REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
>
> %>Create new world
>
> #You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files
> before new ones can be created.
>
> %>Destroy earth
>
> #Destroy earth: Please confirm.
>
> %>Destroy earth confirmed
>
> #COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT
>
> 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
>
> #And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.